


Still Feel

by Tiye



Series: brain rot [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Honestly There's Not Even That Much Angst, In Which I Get Really Specific About the Way Lena Luthor Smells, It's a Lot to Deal With, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Light Pining, One Shot, They're Idiots In Love with the World on Their Shoulders, canon adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiye/pseuds/Tiye
Summary: Sometimes it is better to dare greatly, to risk it all, rather than to live a life lacking passion and wondering "What if?"
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: brain rot [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201556
Comments: 8
Kudos: 122





	Still Feel

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for these ladies, I've recently gotten into the fandom and decided to just get this off of my chest. I've been working on several pieces based around the senses- this started as a study of the significance of smell and ended up as this.

Persimmon, copal, fine leather, lace, and microchips. It had taken Kara years to pin down just what it was about Lena’s perfume that drove her so crazy. The way that it was so tailor made for Lena, that there was no one else in the world who could smell just like that. Clean, heady, exhilarating. It wasn’t just her perfume either. The way she smelled after a shower. After the perfume and the day had been washed away, the smell still lingered. Right underneath the lemon verbena of her shampoo and the pungent mint of her toothpaste. That was the smell that haunted Kara when she laid in bed at night, listening to the steady thrum of Lena’s heartbeat across town. She was at her office late again. It took all of Kara’s immense willpower to not fly to her. To not go scoop Lena into her arms while she protested with futility. To fly her home. To lay her down in bed. To remind her that the work will be there in the morning. To kiss away the exasperation on Lena’s face as they broke into giggles and turned on a mindless tv show. To forget about the immense pressure of their worlds together.

Kara couldn’t. Not after how it ended. Another incident. Another person attempting to weaponize Kara’s love for Lena. She was given an impossible decision. By luck alone there were no casualties. Because when faced with the choice between the lives of dozens of innocents and the life of the statuesque woman with the onyx hair and the pale eyes- Kara didn’t hesitate. Love was a funny thing. There was no other person, save for Alex, that Kara would forsake the world for. Publicly and dramatically, Supergirl declared her love for Lena Luthor while saving her life. All the while, a city bus full of commuters had been taken hostage. Without DEO intervention, they would have been executed.

The headlines were brutal and the articles that followed them were character assassinations. ‘Money Can Buy Anything, Even Supergirl.’ The public was rallying against their hero. Railing Lena Luthor for selfishly taking Supergirl from them. _Typical Luthor, out for herself_. The bitter op-eds and the salacious gossip ate away at the insulated bubble they had hidden their young relationship in. 

Kara couldn’t cope with letting the whole city down. Lena couldn’t cope with being the reason Kara was so sad, so vulnerable. She couldn’t cope with the prospect of more blood on her hands. Things ended with quiet futility. Whispered promises that they would always love each other while they made frantic, desperate love, one last time. Purple remnants of Kara’s fingers lived on Lena’s hips and thighs for weeks afterwards. Normally Kara made a concentrated effort to be gentle with her human lover. But Lena had demanded authenticity that night. “Let me keep a reminder. Please.” Kara lost herself. If one last time was all they got, she would make it unforgettable. It had taken them so long to get here, to have it ripped away so quickly was crushing.

It had been two months but Kara still felt like she couldn’t breathe, she shoved her face into the lush, satin pillowcase that had migrated from Lena’s penthouse all those months ago and unleashed a muffled scream. It still smelled like her. It still smelled like her. It still smelled like her. Kara’s eyes closed, partially to hold the tears in, partially to steel herself against the gravity of the decision she was about to make. A decision that went completely against her better judgment. A decision that Alex, that J’onn would not approve of. Her heart just couldn’t get over her best friend. Things were complicated. But they would figure them out. _We can figure anything out together_. Kara's immense hope overtook all of her logical faculties. She had to see Lena. She had to talk to her.

It took her three minutes to get dressed and to Lena’s office. Breathless and flustered, she touched down on the balcony, mentally rehearsing her speech. Lena was hunched over a pile of documents, scribbling furious notes in the margins. Her blazer hung from her office chair, her shirt wrinkled and haphazard after almost fourteen hours of work, and yet her hair remained nearly perfect in its neatly coiffed bun. Kara could not help but to admire her before gently rapping on the windows, practically vibrating with anticipation.

The knocking caused her to jolt up, instinct took over and she reached for the weapon in her drawer before even turning around to see Kara. A sigh of relief, a look of affection crossed her face, even the glimmer of a smile. Exhausted, she stood and crossed the room to open the door leading to the balcony. “What are you doing here, Kara?”

“I- I had to come see you.”

“You had too?” Lena couldn’t hide her amused smirk as she let Kara into her office. Old habits die hard. The hero stepped inside, visibly nervous.

“Yes. Lena- I- I- I think we made a mistake.” The words poured out of Kara’s mouth like a river falling off the side of a cliff- thundering and immense.

“You think we made a mistake?” Lena was taken aback, typically repeating Kara’s words back to her as questions would be perceived as snarky. Perhaps it was the exhaustion of her day, the surprise of seeing Kara here after so much time apart. Lena was genuinely at a loss for words.

“Yes. Can- can you let me get this all out? I have this whole speech rehearsed and I’m so nervous I just want to say it all before I forget or mess something up or-” Kara was rambling. Her nerves had taken her brain hostage.

“Of course, Kara.” Lena’s eyes were soft, she couldn’t help her affection for the bumbling, babbling superhero in front of her. The fact that she was capable of reducing someone so strong to something like this… Lena had always been in awe of Kara’s capacity for caring. Her ability to love so purely and so deeply, her capacity for forgiveness, her relentless drive to do what is best, what is right. The fact that someone so righteous, so pure, so genuinely lovely, kind, and full of passion- ever had an interest in her as a partner was always difficult for Lena to wrap her mind around. The loss was immense. First and foremost they were friends, friends with undeniable chemistry- sure. But friends. Best friends. It was pure luck they had found each other in the storm of chaos that surrounded their lives. 

“Lena. Not a second has gone by- well maybe not a second because sometimes I’m really busy-” Kara cuts herself off again blushing with embarrassment, “Sorry… but not a minute has gone by where I don’t miss you. Where I don’t think that maybe there’s a way we can figure this out. Because I need you Lena. I need you. I’m so many things to so many people but you- you’ve never needed me to be anything other than Kara. I thought loving you made me weak because everyone keeps saying that this a distraction and a liability and that its only a matter of time before something like this happens again. But I can’t- I can’t help how I feel. How do you feel?”

She did not respond with words. Lena threw her arms around Kara. They wrapped each other in a tight hug. Kara buried her face into the space between Lena’s pale neck and her shoulder. The tears flowed freely now. “I wish it was easier, Kara.”

“Me too.” She sniffled quietly. “Do you want to figure this out?”

“Yes. I- I don’t know how to do this…” Lena’s mind was racing, jumping from one scenario to another, desperately trying to create contingency plans for every possible outcome, scripting conversations with reporters, anticipating invasive questions from the DEO. She felt Kara tense up in her arms at her verbal hesitation. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try. This isn’t going to be easy. Having a relationship with me, especially a public one, is going to put a target on your back.”

“There’s already a target on my back.” Kara cracked a smile and drew back from the crook of Lena’s neck to look into her eyes. It could have been seconds or hours before they drew their lips together. It was a practiced dance, the way they knew exactly how to move their lips. Lena’s lithe fingers tangled into Kara’s blonde hair and Kara’s strong hands wrapped themselves around Lena’s waist, drawing her closer. 

Come what may.

**Author's Note:**

> Your kudos and comments mean the world. Thank you for reading!


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